SOURCE: IMPERIAL SONGSTER 1907
attributed to Chas. Chester with music by ]. J. Naughton
from an idea and a title suggested by Joe Slater..

WHAT THE MELBOURNE MAN TOLD THE SYDNEY MAN

A Melbourne man met a Sydney man, quite casually one day
And started talking of their towns quite in a friendly way
Said the Melbourne man to the Sydney man: 'If you will stop to pause,
I'll try to show you how our town is better far than yours.'

Said the Sydney man to the Melbourne man:
'Now, listen straight away,
And I will listen patiently to what you've got to say.'
Said the Melbourne man: 'In the first place,
We've got the Fed'ral Parliament.'

Said the Sydney man: That's only luck
To a very great extent.
Wait till they get the capital
And then they'll go away.'
Said the Melbourne man: 'Your Harbour,
As you say, is very grand
But you've got the plague from thereabouts
Or so I understand.'

Said the Sydney man: 'Our Station
Is a most important sight.'
Said the Melbourne man: When ours is built
It will knock it out of sight.'
Said the Sydney man: Your politics
Are wrong to a great extent.
How do you expect to keep them straight
When your Premier is Bent?'

Said the Melbourne man:'Ah, that's a joke
Which quickly must be paid,
Your policy cannot be clear
While through it you've to Wade.
Now, though you've got your Harbour,
We've got our Melbourne Cup
And there we beat you badly
When the numbers do go up.'

Said the Sydney man: 'I grant you
That your course is bright and gay,
But our horses often win your Cup
And that's the game to play.
And our electric tramways
All through the town are run."
Said the Melbourne man: 'Our cabbies
Don't kill people by the ton.'

Said the Sydney man: 'Our cricketers
With yours can well compete,
They've given you a real good game
Whenever they've been there.'
Said the Melbourne man: 'I will admit
But win or lose, I'd let you know,
We're sportsmen all the same.'
Said the Sydney man: 'At football
We play different to you.'

Said the Melbourne man: 'I am quite aware
That what you say is true,
But if we all combine to play
One game Australia through,
I think we'd take on any team
And give them a beating too.
But anyway we must agree
Though our views are not the same,
We are all of us Australians
And quite proud to own our name.'

Said the Melbourne man; 'Now let's shake hands.'
Said the Sydney man: 'I will,
And when the Empire wants us,
We're there to fill the bill.'

CHORUS
Australia, Australia,
Though composed of different states,
When danger calk, then you will find
That we are always mates.
So rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves
And let us all proudly sing,
Then give three cheers for the red, white and blue,
And God save the King!


SITE SOURCE: Sydney Folklore Project - Section 14: CITY LIFE

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