When Those Wedding Bells Toll

© Warren Fahey

Weddings, being an occasion for high celebration, are one of the most custom and superstition influenced celebrations in our society and, as anyone who has walked down that aisle will know, there are definite traditional rules. On such an auspicious occasion what bride or groom wants to risk bad luck by wearing the wrong colour or having the wrong food at the reception? Much of the folklore of weddings is ages-old dating back to the pagan Romans yet these superstitions are as alive as ever in our modern day society.

The first recorded white wedding dress was worn in 1499 by Anne of Brittany for her marriage to Louis X11 of France. Prior to this women simply wore their best dress and yellow and red were the most popular colours. White has always been worn throughout Asia and is actually the colour of mourning, however, it is also worn at marriage ceremonies symbolizing rebirth as the bride leaves her birth family for a new married family.

The groom should not see the wedding dress before the ceremony as folklore holds that the bride will be unhappy if married in black and bad luck will attend if married in green. The Bride should never look in the mirror at her complete bridal outfit prior to the wedding day for it was thought that such a look would steal some of her personality into the reflection.

"Married in white, you've chosen right".

The bride is supposed to wear:

Something old is usually a family antique brooch and arranged by the bride's mother symbolizing the transfer of wisdom. Some families also keep a lace handkerchief which is passed down, bride to bride, and this also has a very old origin in that tears at a wedding were seen as a good omen signifying the bride would not cry after the marriage. Tears also signified rain for the crops.

Something new is usually the dress.

Something borrowed is best supplied by a happily married friend thereby offering some of her own marital happiness.

Something blue dates back to ancient Rome when women wore blue edging on their dresses to denote love, modesty and fidelity. It is also associated with the Virgin Mary and the traits of faithfulness and loyalty.

The silver sixpence, or in our case a five cent piece, is often placed in the shoe to bring good luck and fortune. While we're talking shoes brides should remember: Lucky is the bride who marries in old shoes.

The bride must not wear pearls for they symbolise tears and it is also said: "If married on a rainy day, as many drops, so many tears."

The veil is an indispensable item and generally thought to protect the bride from the evil eye. It also announces that the woman is spoken for and, in some Middle Eastern cultures, where arranged marriages are common, it is not until after the wedding that the husband actually sees his new wife's face. An important note about the veil is that if the husband lifts the veil at the ceremony it announces male dominance and if the woman lifts her veil then she is announcing her independence. Go girl go!

Bridesmaids usually dress in a similar fashion to the bride to confuse the evil spirits. Child attendants are thought to add a touch of innocence.

Positioning is all-important during the wedding ceremony. The bride should stand on the groom's left as this allows him and his bestman to have their sword-hands free just in case of serious trouble! The term bestman dates back to Anglo Saxon times when women were scarce and more often than not suitors had to kidnap their would-be brides. The groom took his 'best man' with him to steal the bride. This is also the origin of separating the families in the church, just in case of conflict.

The ring is one of the most symbolic parts of a marriage. On no circumstance should the rings be worn before the ceremony. Originally wedding rings were made of intertwined rushes and later these became metal. Gold, considered the purest of metals, has become the favoured ring and this too is carried by the bestman. Gold itself symbolizes beauty, purity and strength and is a never-ending circle for everlasting love. The ring is popularly worn on the forth finger of the left hand because during the 19th century this finger was thought to have a vein that ran directly to the heart. The wedding kiss is also symbolic and dates back to the Roman's who sealed most contracts with a kiss.

The bride is usually 'given away' by the bride's father (and obviously before woman's liberation) when daughters were considered the 'property' of their father and the hand-over signifies a transfer of ownership. In our more civilized times a new tradition appears to be entering wedding lore - when the question is poised: "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" the father often responds: "Her mother and I".

Music is an important aspect of a wedding and the most traditional music appears to be two classical marches introduced in 1858 for the wedding of Queen Victoria's daughter who personally selected Mendelssohn's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' and Richard Wagner's 'Bridal Chorus'. Given the British custom of imitating the doings of the Royal Family it is not surprising this music was so readily popularised.

On leaving the ceremony, much to the chagrin of the clergy, it was custom to throw rice at the bride and groom as a symbol of plenty - may your pantry always be full. Nowadays paper confetti appears to have replaced the grain however it is just as annoying.

Flowers play an important role in weddings as they are generally steeped in folklore. Traditionally the bridal bouquet was made with aromatic flowers and herbs to ward off evil spirits, bad luck and illness. White flowers, gardenias, carnations, roses and lilies, were symbolic of fertility, purity and new life.

After the ceremony the bouquet is thrown to the assembled single females in the belief that she who catches it will be the next to marry.

The most important food at the wedding is the cake, like the traditional Christmas cake it is made of fruit and nuts, symbolising fertility. On no account must the bride make the wedding cake herself or assist in its making.

All the guests should partake of the wedding cake as a sign of good luck to the newlyweds and, of course, the first cut should be made jointly by the bride and groom. Some Australian weddings also have a 'groom's cake' which is usually a dark chocolate cake: pure white marzipan for the bride and devilish dark for the groom? Single girls are advised to put some of the wedding cake under your pillow and then dream of the person you would wed.

I am reminded of one other custom whereby the bride's family is supposed to pay for the wedding, presumably as a dowry. This is outdated nonsense and, thankfully, many Australian are now sharing the costs associated with the 'big event'. There is also a move towards more unique wedding locations: in a park, a boatshed or even the backyard. It doesn't matter where the ceremony takes place as long as it is what the bridal couple desire. Likewise the 'wedding breakfast' and we appear to be moving towards well-catered private affairs rather than the impersonal, over-priced, over-rated wedding 'function centre' production.